Christmas decorations. I love them!
Especially when someone else puts them up!
I guess that sounded a little like Scrooge, but I assure you I am not that way when Christmas comes. I really love the season for many reasons, but I do have my struggles when it comes to the minor roles I have to play in making Christmas a “Merry” one at my house.
My wife and I decided over 30 years ago that she would not be heading out the door to go to work once we started having children. And we have stuck to that agreement ever since.
The reason I mention that is because it does get me a lot more help with chores at the home since my wife is responsible for things like Christmas decorations.
She does a fabulous job with our decorations at Christmas and has focused on two very special displays each year. She loves different figurines of Santa, and also loves those silly toys that sing funny songs and jump around and make different noises—she puts all of those angels, Santas, babies, dogs or whatever on several shelves which makes a very nice display for all to enjoy. When the grandkids come over they have a ball turning them all on and they really are fun to watch.
But I don’t get out of the Christmas decorating completely and my two main jobs are to do the outside lights and then put the lights on the tree. I’m usually very happy when I finally get them done since I feel like I can relax and enjoy the rest of Christmas from there.
But those lights! I know I am not alone in the frustration that they can bring.
Sometimes you wonder if there is a Santa Lights Elf somewhere who has the power to pull the plug on your lights at any moment. We all do the right things by taking the lights out of the box from last year, untangling them (which usually takes longer than putting them up), and plugging them in to be sure they work.
Even though my wife likes to buy new Christmas lights for the tree almost every year (“we never have enough” is her favorite line), I still will double-check all the lights to be sure they work, before I put them on the tree.
This year I was handed four new boxes of 200 lights each—yes, that is a total of 800 lights and no, we don’t put up a 20-foot tall tree. My wife just loves the pretty colors all over the tree and if that’s what my honey wants to make her happy for Christmas, then by gosh I’m going to put all 800 of those lights on even if I have to tape a few on top of each other.
Even with new lights this year I still pulled them out of the boxes, plugged them in to make sure they worked, and then began the slow process of carefully spreading them out on every inch of the tree. I was sure the 800 lights had to be an all-time record for us—matter of fact, I contacted the Guinness Book of World Records to check what the record was for a 6-foot tall tree and they assured me I would have the record if I could get all 800 of them on, and of course, get them to work. (Yes, that’s a joke, I did not call them.)
OK, so it just seemed like 800 lights on a 6-foot tree would be a record, but believe it or not, by the time I got them all on, I didn’t think it was overload and was looking forward to plugging them all in to see this beautiful bounty of Christmas lights that would probably blind all the children and grandchildren who would gather round the tree on Christmas morning.
When I plugged them in I was dumbfounded. Half of the lights didn’t work. What? I checked them. They were brand new. This couldn’t be.
So then I was faced with the prospect of trying to figure out where the one problem light was, or just take them all off and start over. I have never had to do that before and could hardly consider the idea of doing it twice this year. But after shaking a handful of them to try and find the bad light I knew it was a waste of time.
So I began the slow process of unwinding all my 800 lights from the tree, finally getting it done, and at least wanting to know why half of the lights wouldn’t work.
I plugged them all in on the ground and once again, the Santa Lights Elf did it to me again. All the lights worked. Unreal, I thought.
So I started it all over again, taking each strand at a time and putting 800 lights back on the tree. Incredibly, this time I plugged them in and they all worked. Hallelujah!
It was apparently all worth it since my wife looked at the tree, still with no ornaments, and said it looked so pretty she was considering leaving the tree with only lights and our traditional Angel sitting atop the tree.
That thought lasted a day before the ornaments went on and our pretty tree was ready for the presents.
Maybe the Santa Light Elf was testing my Christmas spirit, but I do believe I did it all without too much of a complaint.
Now for the lights out front.
Kevin Chiri can be reached by e-mail at kevinchiri@gmail.com.