Merry Christmas to all.
I hope each of you has a wonderful Christmas Day on Friday, and I know for us, it will be another wild, hectic, out of control day in the Chiri home—and that’s just the way we like it.
We have an extra special reason for excitement this year since my son and his wife, Michael and Lauren, have driven down from Oklahoma and will be with us all week, including Christmas Day.
All three of my daughters are here in the area and have worked out their schedules so we will get to have a Chiri family present opening, which is becoming our tradition now. This year there will be nine adults and six children (our grandchildren.)
The present opening thing is probably going to be like many of you—hectic. My wife and I have a little tradition of our own in that we spend one night wrapping presents, usually a night or two before Christmas. This year, however, with all the other gatherings planned I suggested we get it done early, so we finished up a week in advance. When we put the presents under the tree I told her, “I know I always say you have bought more presents than ever before, but this year I really mean it. You have bought more presents than ever!”
My wife is like most mothers—she would rather give than receive. She loves buying presents for the kids and grandkids, and I’ve frequently said she is truly a great shopper—I mean it. She buys very special, unique gifts that the kids don’t expect, but usually are perfect, and frequently a big surprise. I have one job–make sure the checkbook is constantly supplied.
Like most families we used to gather on Christmas morning with our kids to open presents. But as they got married and all moved out we had to adjust, something we were not going to be difficult about since we hope the kids and grandkids will always want to come home.
I see too many parents and grandparents who make trouble for themselves by insisting on having things their way. When kids leave home the parents have got to adjust since you suddenly have other families involved, so trust me—be flexible and you’ll be a lot happier, not to mention being appreciated for rolling with whatever is needed to keep everyone at peace.
So now our Christmas present time starts late in the morning, which allows the kids to have their own time at home with their own little families, before all come to our house for a big brunch, then an afternoon of present opening.
I never forgot an experience I had as a child when my grandparents came to our house in Kissimmee, Fla. to stay for the Christmas holiday. We all woke up on Christmas morning to my two brothers and I jumping out of bed and running out to the living room to see all the presents. We were three young boys and pretty typical in that we only cared about what we would get.
We finished opening the presents and I’m sure my brothers and I weren’t old enough to seem interested in anyone but ourselves. The next morning I woke up and noticed my grandparents were gone. My mother told us that they left since they were mad at us boys for not showing enough interest in others during the time opening presents. We were all under 10 years of age.
I always remembered that story. It was an example of two older people not realizing they had to accept kids as they are, and realize children don’t have the maturity of adults. You can’t be surprised that kids are just crazy to get the next present—it’s up to us to teach them about an appreciation for others, and that takes years.
I estimated that with all the people involved in our gift giving this year it will probably take two to three hours to open presents. Not that we have a million presents, but we like to take our time, chat it up and do one present at a time with everyone focusing on who is getting the present.
Naturally that makes it hard for little children sitting around and frequently asking, “is it my turn yet?” So this year I have a new plan. We will give the six grandkids all of their presents to start the afternoon. They can open them all, and then if they want to go play with their toys we will allow them to do what they want. If they want to hang out with the “big people,” that is fine too since nobody is excluding them. But now it will relieve them of the pressure of being perfect for three hours and help the adults relax as well.
Christmas is a great time for sure and while I certainly know that the presents are not the reason for the season, we all know that in the U.S. it is a big part of it.
As our children left the nest, my wife and I talked frequently about being flexible with the kids and their schedules. It’s the best way to be a place they will always want to come home to.
Hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!
Kevin Chiri can be reached by e-mail at kevinchiri@gmail.com.