By KEVIN CHIRI
Slidell news bureau
SLIDELL – Erin Phillips is making sure no one ever forgets about her sweet little boy.
Walking into the Slidell home of Darryl and Erin Phillips, the walls are covered with pictures—large pictures—of Ayden, Caleb and Kaelyn.
Erin is a photographer in Slidell, but more importantly to her, the mother of three little children who she has captured in precious, beautiful moments on almost every wall of their modest home.
Like any parents, Erin and Darryl love seeing pictures of their children, even if the photos can be bittersweet to look at since Ayden is no longer running through the house with Caleb and Kaelyn.
Ayden Phillips died in a drowning accident on June 16, 2011, several months before his 4th birthday, leaving the still very young Slidell parents to grasp with the situation every mother and father hope to never face—how to go on with life after the loss of a child.
“The pictures are so important,” Erin said, wiping away tears as she talked about Ayden. “You have to have pictures to remember. You don’t realize the value of photos until you suddenly face our situation.”
But Darryl and Erin, now two years after the death of Ayden, are following the well-known Bible verse in Romans 8:28, finding a way to allow God to make some good from such a tragic event.
In the weeks following the accident, as they talked and cried together, trying to make sense of what happened, they decided there had to be a way to answer the question of “why?”
“We were eating out, talking about it again, and believing God would somehow make some good out of this,” Darryl said. “That’s when we decided to help other couples who faced a similar situation. We wanted to help them in the areas we had faced the most difficulty.”
Darryl said that in the days following Ayden’s death, the hardship was compounded by funeral costs and medical bills that began arriving. So they decided to start a foundation—“Ayden’s Foundation of Hope”—to help others who go through the loss of a child, and need assistance.
“We were stunned that it cost about $8,000 to have the funeral, and then we had almost $20,000 in medical bills, even with the health insurance I had,” Darryl said.
Ayden’s Foundation of Hope was born, with the first event held a year ago, and the second event scheduled for this Friday and Saturday, May 24 and 25. (See separate story for details of how to support the two-day fundraiser.)
Darryl and Erin never imagined they would be one of those couples facing such a tragic situation after they were married quickly out of high school.
Erin, the daughter of Pastor Mike Harrigan of Slidell’s Community Baptist Church, met Darryl when both started working at Cici’s Pizza in Slidell. Erin was not allowed to date until she finished high school, and Darryl admitted he was a shy young man who had few dates of his own in high school. The couple began to see each other at church or home settings, and within a year, were in love and talking about marriage.
“My father was in the Navy and I knew I would join the service right out of high school,” Darryl said. “But we wanted to get married, so we did that before I left for basic training.”
The couple was reunited over six months later as Darryl was stationed in Germany, where they had their first son on June 21, 2005—Caleb. A little over two years later, Ayden was born on September 5, 2007.
“Even though we were young and living alone in Germany for four years, it helped us grow closer since we had no other family there,” Erin said.
They returned to the U.S. and Darryl changed his mind about a career in the military when his dream job as an air traffic controller was offered in Jackson, Miss., getting them back near their home.
With Pastor Mike’s church set to hold an anniversary celebration in mid-June of 2011, the couple came to Slidell on Wednesday, the 15th and spent Thursday, the 16th, at Pastor Mike’s house, where there was an above ground swimming pool in the backyard.
“The boys loved swimming and were in the pool all day. Early in the evening, they asked if they could swim again, but then got out to follow ‘Pops,’ as he was going to start his burn pile in the back yard,” Darryl said.
The boys were with Pastor Mike as Darryl and Erin were inside with 8-week-old Kaelyn. As he led the boys to the front yard to get firewood, Ayden somehow slipped away on the second trip to the front. Unknown to anyone, he had climbed the stairs to the pool and apparently fallen in.
“Pops rushed in the house and asked if any of us had seen Ayden,” Erin said. “I was so incredibly cautious with the kids and always had a fear of them getting into the street, so we looked there first.”
As family members rushed around, Pastor Mike’s wife went to check the pool, a place nobody imagined Ayden could have gotten to, since Erin said they were insistent about taking the ladder down, which was the only way the children could get that high and climb in.
“But for some reason this time, the ladder wasn’t taken down,” she said. “Grandma screamed that Ayden was in the water.”
Erin, then Darryl, jumped into the pool and Darryl began using his military CPR training to try and save his son before paramedics showed up and took over. By the time Ayden was at the hospital, a heartbeat had been restored.
“When we got to the hospital, we thought he was going to make it,” Erin said. “We had hope again. I remember thinking that God was going to use this as a miracle about the way he saved our son. I was so sure of that.”
But as hours went by, the parents began to realize there may not be a miraculous ending to their story. The doctor heading Ayden’s care finally told them Ayden was brain-dead, and Erin and Darryl were hit with the gut-wrenching news no parent ever wants to hear.
“We had the entire church at the hospital, and we surrounded Ayden with prayer, singing his favorite church songs and reading Scripture,” Darryl recalled. “But they told us the trauma from the brain injury, from not getting oxygen, was what caused his death.”
For days and weeks to follow, the couple struggled to find a way to begin living again.
“It’s the worst thing ever, that’s the only way I can describe how you feel,” Erin said. “And the only way I think we made it through is that the Lord has to totally carry you at that time. God’s grace holds you up, and we have hope now because we know we will see him again one day.”
When they announced plans for the Foundation, they were immediately deluged with several thousand dollars from family and friends, and now two years later, have seen incredible good come out of the tragedy.
When they started the first fundraiser, a friend of a family member said he would head a fishing tournament, since Ayden loved to fish. Combined with a dinner and auction on Friday night, then the tournament on Saturday, the first fundraiser brought in $18,000.
Darryl and Erin are now busy helping other families who have gone through similar tragedies, and to date, the Foundation has helped over 100 couples who have lost children.
“When we are contacted by anyone, we send a package that includes a bracelet, books of encouragement that were a huge help to us, and a check,” he said. “Every situation is different, but we know how much the money is needed at that time, so we do as much as we can.”
Thinking about Ayden today, Erin quickly tears up again.
“He was such a sweet little boy,” she said. “Caleb is loud and stubborn, like me. But Ayden laughed so much and was so gentle. He loved his sister so much.”
To support the fundraiser, contact Darryl at 601-832-9175 or Erin at 601-832-9174. All proceeds go to Ayden’s Foundation of Hope.